KARLING__ time

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

it's a bad bad day

It feels weird not calling him when I wake up. Haha.

Well, it's a start of a new beginning.

I had a very rough night yesterday and all I had was myself. I'm back to the lonely self again where no one's there for me and blahs.
I guess I'm pretty used to it already?

Wonder why am I talking this way? 'Cos I've put away all the love in the world (family not included).

I've broken up with Jeremy.
We're tired of each other.
He said that I wasn't understanding and when I made up my mind on doing something, I will not expect no for an answer.
It was very hard on him.
I said that asking him out is like begging him. All I need was a little of his time and it's so hard?
It was hard on me too.

So the final decision?
We parted ways, yesterday.

It wasn't easy on me.
A 2 years 9 Months and 5 days relationship.
Well, it's better to end now than to cause more misery to each other right?

Then I became another bad person yesterday.
I shall name the person ermm....N?

N loved me from I don't know when.
I only got to know not long ago that he still loves me.
However, he's not ready to be in a relationship but at the same time, he don't wanna lose me.
To tell the truth, I loved him a little too.
Until recently, I made my decision.
I msged him yesterday.
Told him that since we're just friends, we should leave a gap in between and not be so close to each other.
Yesterday was the last day of me being so nice to him.
There has to be restrictions since we're just friends.
This decision has nothing to do with Jeremy. This decision was made AFTER the breakup.

I must've hurt him real bad yesterday.
I don't want to cling on to someone who moves back when I move forward.

Please, if any of you are reading this,

don't ask me to cheer up.
don't ask me to relax and cool down.
don't ask me to forget about what happened.
don't ask me whether am i ok.
don't ask me whether am i feeling better or not.

I don't want any of this.
It'll only make me feel worse.

So please, I don't want to see all these.
I'll be fine.

I'll make use of the F1 to forget all these and start anew.

I will start anew. (:

1:07 PM